3 Reasons Looking Forward Could Be Your Secret to Happiness

The prevailing wisdom is that happiness is only to be found in the present moment. We have been told that we must connect to the now in order to maximize our joy.

Of course, savoring the present moment is so important, I made it the first part of the recipe for happiness in my book, Rediscover Your Sparkle. Fortunately for us mere mortals it is not the only way to be in good spirits.

Basking in the present is part of a three-pronged approach to living a pleasant life. You can also reminisce and look forward. Past, present and future are all equally good methods to enhance your happiness.

I have recently returned from a spectacular trip to France, a vacation that was 10 years in the making. In Crappy to Happy I state that that studies have proven that looking forward to experiences creates almost as much happiness as the experience itself. It is one thing to convey the research. It is quite another to live it. The France trip epitomized just how much anticipation can be baked into joy.

Here are three reasons looking forward could be your secret to happiness…

1) Having a Vision Provides a Big Picture

Ten years ago, I checked off 40 bucket list items to celebrate my 40^th birthday in one year. It was an incredible endeavor. It got me thinking. What would I do for my 50^th?

I had taken French for all the way through high school, and although my grasp of the language was mediocre, I loved the study of French culture and history. I had visited Paris a few times while living in England but I had barely explored the rest of the country. France was an obvious choice for a fun, fiftieth trip. Oh la la!

For a number of years the France holiday was just a dream. Still, having something to look forward to, even when it was so nebulous, provided a sense of anticipation and possibility. Putting a little excitement into the future can make everyday life feel brighter. Even on the most ordinary day, there is something lovely about envisioning something special that is yet to come.

This doesn’t have to be a big overseas holiday. It could be a weekend away, a concert, a dinner with friends, a garden you have been dreaming of creating or learning something new. The important thing is having something that makes you feel excited about what lies ahead.

Don’t Worry! The future is a place we base a lot of worry but it doesn’t have to be. It really is OK to have absolutely no idea about the details or logistics especially if something is a long way off. Relishing in the big picture vision is enough.

2) Planning Can Be Pleasurable

Three years out it was time to get down to business. Start saving. Investigate when best to go. Ask friends to join me. At most we would have three weeks in France but we had three years of planning ahead of us. It became evident very early on that we had to find a way to enjoy the lengthy preparation time.

We were thrilled to discover that here in Auckland there are dozens of French-themed cafés and restaurants so we hit on the idea to meet up at a different one every couple of months to arrange our trip. With the latest fat version of Lonely Planet: France on the table, we would order sugar-filled crêpes and croque monsieur toasted sandwiches. Over steaming mugs of café au lait we etched out our plans.

There is something very special about sharing the excitement of a future adventure with other people. We exchanged ideas, discovered places we might never have considered and talked about the experiences we would love to have. Originally, I had no interest in the Dordogne region but visiting the prehistoric caves at Lascaux was one of the highlights of the vacation. The meet ups become enjoyable occasions in themselves, quite separate from the holiday we were planning.

The same applies to so many other things in life. Organizing a celebration, planning a family get-together or researching a new hobby can all provide opportunities for enjoyment along the way. Planning is not something we have to get through before the real fun begins. It is an integral part of the experience.

Don’t Worry! It really is OK to not plan out every last detail. It is also not just OK but healthy to know that no matter much you plan things can go wrong. Keeping up our planning was a way to feel calm and in control even when a number of personal and world events had the potential to disrupt our travel.

Looking forward could be your secret to happiness when planning is leveraged in a way that minimizes stress without being too heavy-handed. That is a fine line that will be different for everyone.

3) Imagining Brings About Happiness

One of the things I kept visualizing was myself cycling along the side of a canal in the depths of the French countryside with a beret on and a baguette in the bicycle basket. It was a conglomeration of French stereotypes that did not actually happen on the trip, but picturing it brought about the vibe I wanted for France.

I did check off a number of bucket list tourist experiences in France. Eating at a Michelin star restaurant, visiting Monet’s Garden and sipping a glass of bubbles at a cellar door tour in Champagne were all wonderful. However, overall, I wanted to immerse myself in French language, culture and history, just like I did all those years ago in my high school French classes. That imagined scene was a consolidation of that wish.

While we are going about our everyday lives, we can spend a few moments imagining what is ahead and enjoy the excitement all over again. Looking forward could be your secret to happiness with all sorts of future plans. We might picture ourselves meeting a friend for lunch, spending a weekend somewhere new or finally completing a project we have been working towards.

Don’t Worry! It really doesn’t matter whether what you imagine eventuates exactly how you picture it or not. I did not even buy a beret. It was way too hot to wear one!

The Real Secret to Happiness

Creating a big picture vision, embracing the planning stage and imagining what could be are three reasons looking forward could be your secret to happiness.

No matter how much research we do or how carefully we plan, life has a way of surprising us. In France, there were moments we could never have anticipated. Driving past a puppy training school when the GPS took us on the scenic route. The pretty village with twin chateaux perched on a clifftop that we had not intended to visit. That first bite of the best peach I have ever eaten bought from a little market in the Loire Valley.

When I returned home the first thing I did was track down my high school French teacher. It took a pinch of luck and some intense internet sleuthing. I contacted who I hoped was the correct person and wrote a short note of thanks to convey how her lessons had influenced this epic trip of a lifetime, 30 years on. I wasn’t sure I had the right person and definitely wasn’t expecting anything to come of it. After all, sending a note to a non-friend via Facebook Messenger usually goes into an abyss.

She replied that day. Flabbergasted. Delighted.

It just so happened that although she lived abroad, she was in Auckland for a few days visiting family and would love to meet up. So I joined one of my friends from the France trip who was also in her classes. Over a meal we caught up on our lives, reiterated our gratitude in person to our high school French teacher and shared stories from our recent trip to France.

We don’t need to wait for the next amazing thing to happen before we can feel happy. Sometimes, we just need something wonderful to look forward to.

And who knows?

It might turn out even better than we could have possibly imagined.